The wedding was incredible, easily the best day of my life. The honeymoon was a continuation of just that; 2 weeks in heaven to start off a wonderful marriage. I've got lots to talk about both of those matters, but given the significance of today's date I'm going to talk about one particular thing that happened while we were off on our honeymoon.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
We were returning to our hotel one night and as we got out of the cab and walked to the entrance of the hotel a young guy (I'd say late 20s) holding a drink came up alongside me and said "hey pal." I looked at him at which point he said "I thought you were Osama's brother." I ignored him and walked away.
Now I was born in this country, I'm a U.S. citizen, I pay my taxes, I donate to charities, I vote, I contribute to the economy, I love my country and I wouldn't rather move to any other place, yet for the first time in my life I felt foreign than night. I felt unwelcome in the country that I had the right to be in, I had just as much right to be there as the guy who made me feel so very wrong for being there yet because of his one line I felt like I truly didn't belong. I didn't think something like that would bother me so much, after all I'm pretty good about taking things as light hearted as possible, but that one incident struck home.
And I began to wonder, had I just been really lucky since 9/11? Were there more people like him who would see me and based on the color of my skin would brand me a terrorist? What made me any less of an American than him? Haven't we been through this before? I thought the civil rights movement brought forth the idea that we can't just single out a group of people based on the color of their skin. For the first time in my life I wanted to leave, I wanted to be at home and I didn't want that home to be here.
It may not seem like much, after all it was just a 5 second interaction with some drunk jerk; drunk people say things all the time, get over it right? Well I am over it, but that isn't to say that I'm afraid of something like that happening again. I've said it before, that it all boils down to education and understanding of people and cultures other than our own.
Muslims don't hate Americans, that's just not how things work. My mom is a muslim and she'd never hurt a fly, she cried at 9/11, she donated to the relief fund, she condemned those who did it - just like everyone else. She isn't a fanatic, I'd say she follows the Qua-ran like many people follow the Bible, she doesn't interpret it strictly but she takes it to be a set of morals that she attempts to uphold in her daily life. And to those who don't believe it, must muslims are just like that. They don't walk around with AK-47s plotting ways to attack the West, they lead normal lives and have normal families just like everyone else. I've been to Iran around 5 times now, the only current example of a true Islamic state - did I see people running through the streets plotting to kill Americans? No, I saw normal people doing normal things. Sure their customs are different, but none of those customs include hating Americans. Yet I read through some of the discussions that happen online, even in our own forums, and I'm disgusted. I read statements of people who are clearly ignorant of what they are talking about, attacking people and cultures they don't understand. What if we were all judged by the acts of the D.C. sniper, McVeigh or Dahlmer? Everyone would think that any American was a crazed mass murdering psycho.
As I write this, I'm worried that my point won't get across, that everything I've said here will be dismissed at the hatred will continue. I was just as angry as anyone when the towers fell, I wanted to see someone pay, I wanted revenge - but we must all understand that the revenge isn't against every middle easterner you see. A group of people hated our government, so they took that anger and hatred not out on the government, but on over 3000 innocent people. What sense does it make to attack that group of people by targeting those that honestly have nothing to do with it, some of which are just as American as anyone else in this country.
Today we should all remember the tragedy of 9/11, but we must also remember not to let one tragedy lead us to another one. American doesn't mean white; keep in mind how this country was founded, the melting pot has evolved to include a few new shades but the fact remains the same that we are all Americans. I may not look like everyone else, but I feel the same attachment to this country - please don't make me feel unwelcome.
Take care.
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roostercrows - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
prejudice is ignorance bordering on stupidity!i am about as much of a "wasp" looking person as you can get. blond hair, blue eyes, german/swiss ethnicity 6'2" etc. i only mention this because that guy that came up to you may not have been drunk because i hae found that many people (because of the way i look) have revealed their prejudice to me in confidence because they just assume that i hold the same beliefs as they do! how stupid of them!
they don't know that i marched with martin luther king in the sixties, that my dearest friends are indian, african american, jewish, philipino, vietnamese and yes, iranian! this is not an attempt to tell you what a wonderful, unprejudiced, enlightened person i am or to use the "some of my best friends are..." line to appear superior. but really anand, if you asked me what my experience was with iranian "americans" you might be surprised. i only worked with "them" ten years, was invited to many a good home as well as many a huge wedding (great food! btw) met with perhaps over 250 on a close personal basis and when i asked many of them what they really thought of americans they would tell me that "our (american)lives were about of as much value to them as that of a chickens". killing us was easy for them. we weren't human! so, do i base my opinion of all iranians on perhaps the 80 ignorant, brainwashed iranians i spoke with out of how many millions of iranians that i didn't meet? not likely, because i know better and so do you. the wise iranians i have met (the other 170) hate the ignorance of their fellow country men more than i do and imo, they have good reason.
there are more ignorant people than not in this world and it takes a leap of faith to trust in the decent side of humans, with most evidence pointing to the contrary. you know all the examples i could list, sudan, middle east, united states, russia, etc. etc. it's seems endless really. it's a choice we make brother, and far from the most expedient one. take care.
kitsura - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
sorry lots of typo a bit tired its 2am in the morning here...RyanVM - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
Where'd you honeymoon anyway?RyanVM - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
Where'd you honeymoon anyway?kitsura - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
I understand your pain, but having come from a truly multi-racial and multi-cultural society, I'm from Singapore btw, I can say that the guy was way out of line so don't be bothered by him.Sure you two probably don't look the same but haven't he learnt from WWII that being a white supremacist doesn't pay. Anyway I don't think there is no country in the world now that can claim to be truly single racial what with the massive push for globalisation.
Maybe some Americans just need to have more tolerance and education so that they don't jump to conclusions. Over in my country we are thought at grade school level of all the other races and their cultures so that with knowledge come a greater understanding and greater tolerances. Anyone who has been to Singapore will know the mish mash of races that constitute the population.
Congratulation on your marriage, take care.
gumbico - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
Welcome to the club Anand. I'm suprised it took you this long to feel this way about America. Being an ABC I know that no matter how much money I make or how well I speak English or how well I dress or how well educated I am, I will never be considered an "American." The moment WW3 breaks out between US and China I already know what to expect from some of my fellow Americans. Does it bother me? Not really, it's just human nature like another poster said. The same happens to the foreigners over in China or any other country.If you truly feel like this country is your home, then it will always be hard when you come across folks like that (again, I'm suprised that you haven't already encountered this before). To me, it's just easier to accept the fact that this isn't my home, just a place to work and make some money. You can never change people's opinions, just ask the average black man in America. All you can change is yourself and your perspective on things.
Well congrats on the wedding man. Wishing you the best!
RyanVM - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
I feel for you Anand,but I think it's a bit of a waste of time getting caught up over something stupid a drunken moron said. Seriously, you just got married! Go make love to your wife or something :PWishing you the best of luck in the future and much love!
Anonymous - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
/starting a new religion: "Morality and Logic." Feel free to make your own, the water is quite nice.WizzBall - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
I believe that the root of the problem in the western or middle-east societies is one very common to both - lack of proper education.When all people will get a proper education (never say never :) then all these problems will be solved.
The value of a man lies beyond its skin color or religious affiliation, that's a lesson most of us still have to learn - not in school, not in university but at home. That's where it all starts.
Yes, Anand did the right thing but let it be known to all of you that even in an academic environment where I live these days, more than once I did hear people reffering to the "f#$%in' whites".
While it is no surprise that it goes both ways one can only assume that such attitudes are not always related to how much education a person gets while in school/university.
So if you're waiting for the schools or someone else to make you or your kids better people, than all I can say is good night.
icarus4586 - Tuesday, September 14, 2004 - link
Scapegoatism. It's human nature not to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe it's not a certain whole group of people at fault for everything wrong in the world. People blame Muslims, Jews, Christians, blacks... the list goes on... for anything and everything. It could never be even a small part my problem, it's a vast conspiracy to overthrow the world. Take responsibility, take action to make things better instead of stirring up hate by blaming other people.